There is so much beauty in how we all honor our loved ones who have left the physical. During this time many cultures and religions celebrate connection with the dead. It is a beautiful heartfelt sacred spiritual time felt by many. Life and death are the two universal experiences that connect us all. There are many ways but this week, All Saints day, All Souls Day, El Día de los Muertos, and many others are celebrated in many cultures around the world. Many take time to honor the special people in their family heritage that they loved as they know and believe they feel them closer during this time. I grew up in Northern California and surrounded by the Hispanic culture I was aware of the Day of the Dead, but I had little understanding of the meaning and now as a Medium my personal breadcrumb trail led me back to dig deeper into these cultural traditions.
Winding down from the Halloween excitement my kids and I watched the Disney movie Coco. Yes, I know it is the Disney version of things. As I watched it I started following the Spiritual Breadcrumb Trail and dove into a Google search starting with the history of the tradition of the Day of the Dead, the individual personal experience during it, and the meaning behind the food, music, flowers and sugar skulls. I was excited to discover that there is no fear in their perception of death. They joke and laugh in the face of it and enjoy making up fun satirical poems about their departed. An entirely different approach than what I grew up experiencing. The words from the song Remember Me, “Know that I am with you the only way that I can be.” is probably one of the most important lines of that song for me as we accept the new relationship we have with our loved ones as they cross over. It’s not exactly the same as in the physical. It is different and that’s OK because it’s a new chapter to the relationship we can still continue with our loved ones as there is no disconnect unless we on our end choose it. Sometimes we're just not interested in connecting with certain individuals and that’s okay too. It is our choice and our right of free will.
My favorite display of love is the Ofrenda, the altar where family photos from many generations are displayed with offerings of food, flowers, drinks and items from their life. The act of honoring the men and women in your family line who lived the lives that led you to this life at this exact right time. It is not worship. I’m so grateful now looking back because I’ve been made aware of my family heritage and the many lives lived before mine so that I would be able to live in this century of opportunity. The Ofrenda is a vibrant display of gratitude beyond ourselves, beyond our immediate life and it is a conscious tribute to the love through time that connects us all.
I love their ability to embrace death just as much as they embrace life. That it’s just a part of the experience. We ourselves close and open the doors of connection through awareness. Our free will, our choice. They can’t open the doors for us. We control the connection through our emotional and mental state. Much of the time grief controls this for us and it takes time to re-open those doors which makes us believe that we’re disconnected from them. Fortunately our loved ones are very patient and they’ll be there when we are ready.
Some reading this might think I’m obsessed with death but, I’m not in the way you might think. Actually I’m concerned with how we presently live with grief, how we heal the most broken parts of us, and I witness how those with the strongest will and courage continue to function with the heaviest hearts. How we in our lives connect with the loved ones who are still very present and living in spirit while remaining cognizant of the death process. So I’m not walking around like Wednesday from The Addams Family with her dark eyes in morbid thoughts. It is more of a celebration of love by proving real connection with those in spirit. They’re still people. Reconnecting our family history, tradition and the love that stays with us. So it’s not a creepy, negative, dark view. It’s a very positive heartfelt gathering of togetherness individually felt within the heart and soul. That is why I so appreciate the joyful honoring celebration that many cultures have of death and the process of life. It makes it normal for us. When we focus and celebrate and think about them we’re opening our hearts to them and we’re opening our awareness to them. Through these acts we are opening up our free will which then opens the door to our loved ones in spirit. That’s why we feel so close and present with them during holidays but, remember they are ALWAYS available to us. As a Medium I’m able to provide factual evidence of their presence because validation is needed as it is hard to trust ourselves when we experience the unexplainable. Even I need personal validation sometimes! Let's be clear you don’t need the Medium to actually experience connection but it does help fill in a lot of the blanks. You always have your own connection with your people.
Somewhere along the lines during my career and being an adult with the hustle bustle I lost that connection and awareness of my family heritage and it was no longer a focus of mine. I forgot to remember them and appreciate who I was in many ways. I forgot to celebrate! They are showing me new ways of honoring and finding the joy of connection with traditions. For those seeking connection again with who they are, it really helps to go back to your long line of heritage. Not just the immediate family. Sometimes those relationships are very difficult but go back a few generations and start finding that story. Their story led to the story and beauty of you! As my family assembled our own family version of the Ofrenda we shared stories with our children who really got into the process and laughed creating cherished moments. Those moments together sharing really did bring us closer in every way to eachother and our whole family. I am so grateful to have been guided to study the tradition, understand the deep spiritual experience and respectfully take part in the exuberant display of love that Mexico has shared with the world. I will finish tonight as my Nonnie and Nonno would toast, "Salute!"