It is an odd feeling to be the rookie in so many new areas. Especially because I had become so comfortable in my military career. Now I have to struggle through projects and learn again. Frustrating and exciting as I see myself in new ways. While it does leave me discouraged sometimes, all it takes is a glance at my Wonder Woman mug, a powerful song, finding a crumb on the Spiritual Breadcrumb Trail or the words my mentor told me, “You’ve got this!” to snap me out of the negative self doubt spiral. I can’t tell you enough how powerful having an inspiring figure remind you of how amazing you are. Wonder Woman is mine but last week at the children’s book fair I re-discovered She-Ra!!! Yes, that’s right they brought back She-Ra The Princess of Power on Netflix! I am loving watching this updated throwback with my girls! I am discovering there are some serious parallels to my life's adventure. I didn’t know in the beginning she struggled to figure out how to use the sword and powers that it all wasn’t automatic and she learned the hard way. She struggled with the choice to be She-Ra and use her newfound ability. Powerful to watch this storyline play out as it reminds me of how far I have come on my journey to come out of the spiritual closet.
My ego really kicks my butt sometimes. When things don't come as easy or naturally as I am used to it starts shaming me internally. You know the thoughts and feelings. It is like you have the mean girl from High School mocking you all over again. Except as an adult it comes from within. If you watch The Goldberg's on ABC you know the two characters that mock, well, everyone relentlessly Johnny Atkins and Carla. We all have a Johnny or Carla in our own heads. They are easy to believe and quick to trigger self doubt, fear and shame in less time than it takes to drink a cup of coffee. I shake my head when I think about how quickly I forget how powerful, capable, creative, effective and accomplished I have already been. When we face the world we feel small but mostly because our ego tells us we are doing it alone which I know having become acquainted with my badass spiritual team of loved ones rooting me on all the time that the feeling of aloneness is BS. That’s our own self created problem. I have to say “No, not today.” with those thoughts and go over my list of experiences that have proven to me that they are with me and take myself out of the state of fear and get back into the center of love and service. When I get back into the focus of love and service all of the fear, doubt and shame melt away and I am able to focus on the work. You can discover your personal spiritual team of badasses too through the evidence a session offers and quickly correct that perception of aloneness permanently!
It doesn’t matter that it takes me an hour to compose a post on Instagram because I know I have people working through my learning curve with me and that makes the struggle not so defeating. Knowing and trusting my spiritual team really has CHANGED MY GAME IN LIFE!!