When we constantly are on the Know Thyself Journey we come into the awareness of parts of ourself that we put a blind eye to. The darker side of ourselves, the ugliness that we ignore. I have identified the beasts within me, their names are “The Need to Control”, “Lack Of Trust”, “Jealousy,” “Denial,” “Unbridled Fear” “Suppressed Anger” and there are more I haven’'t consciously met yet.
They pop up when I don’t expect them to, and have their own running dialogue that goes through my head, that isn’t really mine and it is definitely NOT Spirit. I’ve learned if you haven’t met and faced them and named them, catching the beast before it influences your actions, you become the Beast.
Now I am able to catch them sometimes and tell them to stop it before they take over. It has taken me the last few years of self study to be able to do that. I don’t like what I see when I look at the beast, it is ugly and feels icky and doesn’t match the core of me. I have to trace its roots, where it comes from and why it pops up over and over again. I don’t know if I will ever actually be able to kill them entirely as I am still human and it is par for the course. I do know that through conscious effort I can catch them look at them and say,
“Not today”, “Not right now”.
I am proud of that.